Clarity, Part 2

In this post I will explore and explain four more topics from the clarity portion of Rules for Writers that I will use to revise my QRG. I will also explain two ways that I improved my QRG with this newfound knowledge.

Downing, Jenny "la rosee du petit matin." 4/24/2013 via Flick. Attribution 2.0 Generic

1. Find the exact words-

• All chosen words within a piece of writing need to be well thought out. Connotations, rather than just choosing the biggest word possible, are really important to one's writing. Having too positive or too negative words within sentences can negatively affect the interpretation of those phrases in the eyes of the reader. Also, specific concrete nouns are considered to be a lot importance because they portray the meaning of the sentence in a more vivid way.
• This section of the book also addressed making sure that one's writing uses standard idioms. An idiomatic sentence is one that would make sense to a native speaker in that language, but could easily be misused when writing a long document like a QRG. Also this portion of the book warned about using figures of speech with caution. This is when a writer uses certain descriptive language to aid in a comparison between two things, but the figure of speech only complicates the comparison further.

Example:

Before: Traditional taxi companies are claiming that Uber is tantalizing taxi drivers to leave their companies, in order to join the Uber workforce.

After: Traditional taxi companies are claiming that Uber is luring taxi drivers to leave their companies, in order to join the Uber workforce.

The difference between these two sentences is merely on word, but that one word holds great meaning in the overall effect of the sentence. The word tantalizing, though seemingly quite intellectual held too much of a positive connotation surrounding the way that taxi companies feel that Uber is stealing their workers.

2. Balance Parallel Ideas-

• This section talked about balancing sentences, which involves making sure that parts of a sentence are in similar grammatical form. The advice within this portion of the textbook is especially relevant when writing a list or discussing a pair, especially when comparing two or more things.
• This part of the book also stated that sometimes it is necessary to repeat function words such as that or because, in order to make the meaning of a sentence clearer.

3. Emphasize Key Ideas-

• A major lesson that I learned from this portion of Clarity is that the main idea of a sentence should be in the independent clause, while minor ideas should follow in a subordinate clause. This is important for my writing because it will allow the main point of the sentence to stand out, while still allowing further explanation and avoiding choppiness in my writing. Using this technique could lead to the presence of run-ons, which I am slightly concerned about.
• This section of the book also warned not to subordinate excessively. Some times breaking one long sentence with many subordinate ideas can be way more effective than having one confusing sentence where some ideas seem more important than others.

Example:

Before: If a customer repeatedly receives poor rankings, which all Uber drivers can see prior to accepting their request for a ride, then drivers can decline to provide that individual with service, in order to avoid a bad experience as an Uber employee.

After: Drivers, the only ones who can see customer rankings, have the right to deny a person service based on consistently low ratings. This is a reliable way for a driver to prevent an uncomfortable experience as an Uber employee.

Initially this excerpt from my QRG contained excessive subordination. The sentence had so many parts that the point that I was trying to convey lost a lot of its meaning. By breaking this sentence into two separate phrases the message that I was portraying became more clear and effective.

4. Repair Misplaced and Dangling Modifiers-

• A simple, but very important aspect of this section was the reminder that modifiers should go before the words that they modify. Having modifiers dispersed at random times in a sentence can make the wording of that sentence very awkward and unclear. Placing modifiers in their correct location can really simplify the meaning of a sentence and make it a lot less wordy.